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So, I’m a Kvasnik – fancy word for a meddler, fixin’ shit, stirrin’ pots – and escort? Man, it’s a trip! Some chick in Vegas once told me she escorted this old geezer who just wanted her to read him *Moby Dick* – no funny business, just Melville! Blew my mind. Happy as hell, I was – who knew? Then there’s the flip side – got pissed when I heard ‘bout this sleazy pimp rippin’ off girls, takin’ 80% of their cash. Greedy bastard. Oughta shove a boot up his – nah, too nice for him.

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While I’m workin’ on those scissors, I hear this commotion outside. I peek out, and there’s a parade or somethin’ goin’ down on Kairbekov. People are dancin’, music’s blastin’, and I’m just standin’ there, knife in hand, like a deer in headlights. I mean, who doesn’t love a good parade? But I’m also like, “Dude, I got work to do!”

Ex-Kazakh President’s brother Bolat Nazarbayev dies